Today’s Music: The Ramones – Beat On The Brat (Live)
This week’s Trifectachallenge is the 3rd definition of the word brain:
brain: something that performs the functions of a brain; especially : an automatic device (as a computer) for control or computation
Two bloggers I love, Linda Vernon and Lizzie Cracked have been very supportive of me, so when they said I had to enter this contest, I felt, in the spirit of reciprocity, I couldn’t let them down. If you’ve seen the only consistent poll choice, you know why.
Even if this story goes nowhere near answering the challenge.
That’s Using Your Brains!
He was never the same after he got bit.
But he was my best friend. So we still hung out after the end of the world. Found a nice place some of the rich folks abandoned and just moved in. Got ourselves a generator and a game box.
It wasn’t bad.
Even if he did keep getting worse.
Everyone said I should cut him loose, but it wasn’t really that bad. Even at his worst he knew who I was and never tried nothin.
So, as spring turned to summer and summer to fall, we lived our routine. We played stickball and video games. Raided the supermarkets for food for me. He didn’t need sleep anymore, so hunted at night, and kept our place safe, even as it started to get more run down
He tinkered with things, fixing shelves and appliances, so we had a decent life.
You don’t believe me?
Try this then – true story:
Winter came and it was cold, colder than it had been. the house was coming apart a little too, especially around the window frames. I musta been bitchin about it more than usual because he kept looking at me, you know, with his head tilted to the side, like they do when they see something that interests them.
I thought our friendship was gonna come to an end.
I shoulda had more faith. Because I wake up one morning, and it’s warm! I go downstairs, and there he with this muck all over his hands.
“What happened?” I asked. “How’d you get it so warm in here?”
He held up his rotting arms, covered in the same goop that oozed around the windows and the outside doors, and spoke through his decaying living dead mouth.
“I…uuusssseed…..mmmyyyyyyyy……brrraaaaiiiinnnnssss!”
I love it! (also: love the Ramones and the pic from Shaun of the Dead).
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Thanks, and I’m glad you caught the pic, springfieldfem! It was the only reference I could think of to playing video games with a zombie.
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I constantly have red ink on my lab coat. I am disappointed no one has yet to say, “You’ve got red on you.” Such is life.
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That last line made me bust out laughing! Clever story!
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Thank you Mel. But you should know better by now than to encourage this sort of thing! 😉
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AAAAhhhhh! ::holds hands over eyes:: I can picture it in all its bloody glory! That’s freaking awesome. Creativity WIN!
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Thanks Asplenia. I only wish I’d thought of this years ago as a response to my Dad every time he said “Why don’t you use your brains?”
hehehe
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Hi,
What a fantastic story, but of course the ending really just blew me away, how very, very clever of you, I just burst out laughing, way too good. 😀
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Thank you Magsx2. That’s the highest compliment I could ask for!
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I had the same reaction as Mel, above; almost choked on my Vienna Sausage, I chuckled so hard! Brilliant ending! I’d say it wasn’t much of a challenge as you had thought, was it?…. Most excellent… Ginger and Lizzie should ask you to write their ascension speeches when they assume the Throne of The Entire World next Midday Moon….
Now I don’t have to say I didn’t write anything for the contest because I could only find one of my brains…. 🙂 Can’t shoot a guy for going for the cheap laugh, not online anyway…. yet.
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Thank you, Gigoid. You know, if you throw the sausage and some ketchup in the blender, it would look like…
Never mind.
(And we live for the cheap laugh here at Guapola!)
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El Guapo….I knew there was a reason I don’t have a blender! And since y’all live for the cheap laugh, well, I’ve got a huge inventory, just waiting to be used, or sold, cheap…. As Arnie has been known to mumble, “I’ll be back…”
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Always welcome, Gigoid – plenty of room in the asylum!
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hahaha! Good one!
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Why thank you, young lady!
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That is the best. Really. If you don’t win with that, than certain judges aren’t using their brains.
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Thanks Hobs.
Though as the story shows, it’s not If they’re using them, but How that’s important…
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You’re so funny EG. I really think you should win though. That said, I haven’t read any of the others…
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Guapo, you are a mad man (but in a good way!)…Good Job.
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Thank you whitelady – And the therapists agree with you!
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well…you managed, and quite adroitly i might add, to finally get “brrraaaaiiiinnnnssss!” into a wonderful story (forgive me if you’ve done this prior – i missed it) anyway EG, you da man! continue…
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Thanks Tony. Surprisingly. this is the first time braaaiiiinnnsss appears outside of a poll…
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I give…you are the BEST!
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Thank you so much Jots!
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Awesome, Guap! I’m a sucker anything with a reanimated corpse in it!
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Which is why I must insist for the last time, my good man, that you stay out of my pantry.
And thanks, Smak!
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Clever ending. I’m still laughing. Good job.
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Thank you so much Diane – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Haha, Shaun of the Dead! I know I’m safe at the library, since zombies always want brains and none of our patrons seem to have any.
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Yeah, but then yours would look that much tastier to them Heather!
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Hahahaloling! Larry! You have out done yourself! The first two lines are genius! And the last line was nothing short of more genius! A masterpiece El Guapo! In fact, It is so brilliant that I am officially upgrading your moniker from Elnest Guapingway to El Guapo And you used Lizzie’s word and gave us shout outs! Thanks for putting whip cream and a cherry on the top of my day! : D
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Wow, thanks Linda – back to El Guapo? I’m lucky I didn’t throw out all those old business cards!
Really glad you liked it!
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That was fun. I liked the structure of it and the amusement at the end. I don’t know how you made it work, but boy did you ever. 🙂
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Thanks Sparks. Honestly, I have no idea where the hell this came from.
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I was right there with you both.
Ingenious 🙂
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And they were glad to have you with them Kate!
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WordPress hasn’t been telling me when you post! I thought it had gone a bit quiet, it’s been doing this a lot lately with various people. That displeases me.
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That sucks, Joe. WP sometimes unfollows people for some (no) reason.
Modern technology I guess…
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Very cool goings there Guapo, and the tunes are dynamite.
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Much obliged, Cayman Thorn. Thanks!
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Cheers to your creativity … and the ending not only surprised me, it made me laugh! Well done.
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Thank you Frank. Glad you got a laugh off it!
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You know, I like it not because of the gore, but because the two guys were friends despite their ‘differences’. AND sweet zombies are always the best! Awww…look what he did for his bestie…I like it. Nice job!
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I think the joy of kind zombies is lost in the current hysteria against all things zombie, kayjai. I’m trying to raise awareness in my own twisted way.
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Good for you. Fight the good fight, man.
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Brilliant stuff – a shoe in – Ramones too – what a find in my lunch break!
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Thank you GFB.
I hope you meant you found the story for lunch and not brains…
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BOTH! Lovely with a bit o’ gravy. That’s an offal thing to say. Oh well back to work……
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I wonder in which hemisphere those tastes stem from…
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I’m left handed if that helps
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Great story, I had a good laugh…I am glad you survived this adventure!
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Survived to write again another day, SnB!
Glad it brought a chuckle!
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I love the optimistic tone of the narrator — and the story within the story! So nicely crafted! 🙂
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Thank you Linda! I would have sat it out if you and LizzieC didn’t push me.
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Well I encourage you to write one every week. You are a fantastic writer and I can tell you’ve got so much in there that you have yet to discover! The sky’s the limit!
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Why thank you! but what if it interferes with my Italy Food cooking time? 🙂
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I’ll give Ruth Conrad Bateman a call. I like to think I have a little influence in the elite Italy food circles. She ‘ll come over and cook for you while you write. She’s 177 but spry! She still doesn’t take any guff tho.
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Bravo Guapo! (I’m sure somewhere in Argentina there’s a band with that name!) Well done…a touching tale of ‘undying’ friendship, humor, a great ending and brraaiiinnnnss, whats not to love?! Also love the Ramones song!
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Thank you Alex! Was going to go with Pet Semetary, but even though I rejected that, it still had to be Ramones.
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No! Oh my gosh, horrible. I love the conversational style of this piece. Drew me right in. Until the end. Then I was repelled. Well done.
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Um, thank you?
And please Kelly, avoid my forthcoming TimeLife series on Home Repair for the Undead! 😉
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You were the FIRST person I thought of when I saw the prompt. Great story.
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Thanks ODNT, and I’m honored. Unless you’re a potential employer. In which case, I’m screwed.
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Not if it’s zombie-related. You’ve got to think positively, Guap.
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Quite well done! I love the undead, newly dead and reanimated; especially when they are so hopeful and genius.
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Thanks so much Valentine! We can only hope he doesn’t turn his genius to evil…
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♥. Although, I’m thinking that human brains are over-rated…….
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Based solely on the way I use mine, absolutely right, TikkTok!
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😆 I was thinking along strictly culinary lines of course, but you go right ahead…….. 😆
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Great ending. I like the plays on words and culture. You killed this.
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Thank you very much, Lance!
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Ohhhhhh. That’s ….. disgusting and wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s the third definition or not, but I liked the story for sure.
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Thanks JesterQueen.
Pretty sure I missed the definition, but my art will not be contained!!!!!
No?
Ok, it was all I could come up with, but I laughed while writing it, and that’s good enough for me.
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Delicious.
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Nonono Hotspur. These are the spackling brains. The food quality brains are over there.
Sigh.
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I put the brainspackle on the brains. Like a spread.
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Dude, don’t you know brainspackle is cut with Grey Slime leftovers?
Blech.
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Mmmmmm.
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How nice that our narrator’s loyalty was rewarded! You have a wonderful, twisted sense of humor.
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Thanks, Gal.
That’s what I keep telling people – that it’s wonderful!
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hah 🙂 so ridiculous and hilarious! I had no idea grey matter was so insulating!
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Thank you lexy! I have grey matter insulating my grey matter from doing anything useful!
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Nice story! I love the Shawn of the Dead picture you put up. Such a good flick.
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Thank you Lily. As soon as I got the story idea, I thought of Shawn of the Dead.
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Zombies rock…especially when they aren’t trying to eat you 🙂
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Especiallywhen they aren’t trying to eat you, Carrie!
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(Standing ovation). Thanks for feeding me zombie after the season has ended for The Walking Dead. This was great!
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Wait – feeding you zombie, or feeding you to zombie?
Glad you liked it Sandra!
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Nothing like a little Ramones and a lot of zombies. What a fun story! I’m a big lover of all things punk rock and undead. Well done.
Good luck on the challenge!
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Lets face it, the Ramones were pale enough to be zombies, mrsoneday.
Thanks, and glad you liked it!
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Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. If you haven’t already done it, you might be interested in clicking on the “Meet Your Fellow Trifectans” tab on our site and introducing yourself there. Hope to see you back on Monday for the new prompt.
BTW, had this been the third definition, it’d have shot straight to the top. Loved it. Also, oddly, love that you don’t really care if it’s the third definition or not. 🙂
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Thanks so, much, Trifecta.
And glad you liked it despite the rule breaking – best compliment possible!
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Ewwww! That was fabulous. You have a cracked sense of humor, for sure. 🙂 I loved the narrator’s voice.
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Thankk you very much, chrstnj!
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Fabulous EG. I too found the last line made the story! hehehe. Ah, love my twisted friends. Great entry and fine writing.
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Thanks, Miss B. Not sure where it came from, but it just showed up in my head begging to be set free.
Glad you liked it!
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Well done, Guap….I love this!! 🙂
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Tahnsk Susan.
I still get a laugh reading this one.
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🙂 I’ve read it a few times….lol….it makes me laugh every time!
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And you should be proud of this one! It’s fantastic. I’m smiling from ear to ear. 😀
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Thanks! Many of my entries were at the edge of the rules, or dragged in the organizers to gently mock the rules, but they had great senses of humor about it.
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They do seem to be a good bunch… I’m fairly new to playing along with the Trifecta (and trifextra) madness. I may end up tweaking the rules eventually too. If they call me out on it, I’ll just blame you. 😉
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Pretty sure that’s my purpose on the internet. 😀
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Good to know. That may come in handy one day…
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Just try and let me know what you need an alibi for a few days in advance, if possible.
Oh, and I get remarkably booked up around arbor day.
Never understood that…
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Arbor Day? Is that the one where everyone is supposed to plant a tree? That’s hot, tiresome work…
Or is the one where everybody goes to the ‘arbor and gets sloshed while watching the waves?
Either way, I can see why an alibi would be handy.
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