Monthly Archives: June 2013

Friday Foolishness – Cookout Edition


Today’s Music: Love And Rockets – So Alive

Round and round we go, where it stops, no one knows. But it does leave plenty of time (amid the frustrations) to read blogs! Here’s some of what I saw…
Jots From A Small Apartment is continuing to make great art. I Saw Bob Dylan In A Speedo is livin’ life, and Sharp Little Pencil started posting again after her move, with a fun, beautiful poem.
Oh, and some time at the beginning of next week, AFrankAngle, having done the themed “Time The Musical”, not once, not twice, but three times(!), will return with the fourth installment! When it posts, you can find it here, along with all his other great writings.

Thanks all, for a great week of reading, and the promise of greatness to come!
Emergency
Last week, Our poll wasn’t so much greatness as it was inane. Which is exactly what aim for around here. We asked about that technological marvel, the hospital bed, should do. And how it could be made even more…technologically marvelous. Your answers made me wonder what you could all do if you had medical degrees! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are on life support in italics.)

do the Orgasmatron thang from the old Woody Allen film -~Miss R
(Just make sure the IV has extra fluids…)
Yes they should, but would anyone be interested? 🙂 Andro
(I’d only be interested if it came with a demerol stash!)
Change nappies and make the sandwiches, but not at the same time 😦 Andro
(Just make sure whoever restocks the bed is very very careful of what goes in which bin!)
show me boobies!!! – Revis
(Ok, but the ones in hospital beds are not near as attractive with tubes coming out of them.)
(Or oozing…)

Have apps. They’ll be iBeds before long – mark my words. Grippy
(So my doctor disappeared because he was using Apple Maps?)
Send you home lickety-split-ly. Elyse 54.5
(It was the splits that put me in the hospital in the first place!)
Get to 70 in 4 seconds. Duh! (Stacy)
(A hospital bed that ages you that fast doesn’t sound like an improvement…))
refigured so they can be pulled behind a ski boat.
(On the spot aid for those inevitable “Chasing Loch Ness Monster” accidents!)
Eggs over easy with Canadian bacon. (SilkPurseProductions)
(Keep up that diet, and you’ll need a hospital bed.)
Resemble something close to being comfortable–Addie
(I thought the discomfort let you know you were healing?)
…stop Tea-Party members from breeding. JOTS
(So a hospital bed with lights so they have to look at each other?)
Teleport the sick person to the future where they will instantly be cured. JOTS
(Dammit KJ! I’m a doctor, not a – oh…nevermind.)
have auto download of El Guapo’s blog for my laptop! Benzeknees
(Hospitals block my blog as a virus.)
hug you healthy and give you nice dreams starring unicorns. NBI
(I see the words, but it reads as “give better drugs”…)
accept a quarter so the bed can vibrate. That will get the pulse moving. WG
(Wait – so that dingy room downtown I…heard of…was a hospital???)
be a trebucet. patients will hurl themselves onto unsuspecting medical staff WG
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
fly, like a magic carpet. thematticuskingdom
(That’s not the bed. It’s the drugs.)
Vibrate. Red.
(No, that’s just a phone the last patient left behind.)
Armrests and a cup holder!
(Woah – Yugo doesn’t share that technology with just anyone!)
Vibrate…Wheee (SnB)
(Someone is still high from the anesthetic…)
…go home with you, cus after all – you’ve paid for it! Alex A
(I can think of better souvenirs. Like the money I spent…)
Interviewing private nurses for extra duties. Wink wink, say no more. Andro
(The privacy curtains are a separate feature.)
Double up as an F1 car so that I can not only watch, but take part in the race at Silverstone Andro
(Are IV tubes fire resistant?)
shut off the noises from the ward and cocoon you to sleep MyBeautifulThings
(Wait – you don’t like the inconsistent pinging of beeps and alrams throught the night???))
Scratch that one part of your back you just can’t reach. Twindaddy
(As long as it isn’t the part where the sun don’t shine!)
administer GOOD drugs – Rutabaga
(After a certain point, even the cheap stuff works!)
Have a hole so you can go #1 & #2 without getting up! says, brickhousechick🙂
(Oh, people do that anyway.)
Bear Jameson whiskey gifts … thanks unknown (Frank)
(Sounds like you’re self medicating…)

Congratulations to WG for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was Have a built in fridge. Stocked with edible food.. Because Mystery Meatloaf is rarely good. Despite them saying it’s good for you.

That Star Spamgled Banner still waves.

That Star Spamgled Banner still waves.


This week, the world prepares to celebrate the 4th of Jul-
What?
Not the whole world enjoys it? I mean, besides England…
Oh…ok…So this week, the United States prepares to celebrate the 4th of July, a holiday that is all about the birth of this nation, and its traditions. So this week, we’re asking how you’ll spend it.
Answer as often as you like, but do it before 2359 EST, 3 July,because that’s when this one ends.
And if you leave an “Other” answer, leave a way to identify you,and I’ll link back next week.

And until next week, enjoy these.
First, a classic!

And because one is never enough…

Have a great week, and I’ll see you when the clock spins ’round again.

Intro To A Blogger – My Beautiful Things


Today’s Music: Tori Amos – Take To The Sky
Note on Today’s Music: With the subject matter, you’d think I’d be inclined to use David Bowie – Suffragette City.
No. It’s anot appropriate here.
And David Bowie sucks.

I watched Wendy Davis, Texas state Senator on a live stream the other night.
For about eleven hours, she stood and filibustered a bill to restrict abortion rights in Texas.
I caught a documentary about the doomed Space Shuttle Challenger, carrying Sally Ride, the first American Woman in space.
I was doing some reading and came across something on Carrie Nation (not a favorite of mine), who was a big mover in the Temperance Movement that led to Prohibition after her death.

Be impressed or annoyed, but there’s no denying that these women showed the best (and most annoying) of humankind. And to think that around the world, there was a time when they didn’t even have the vote.

My Beautiful Things

My Beautiful Things


My Beautiful Things is a blogger who’s Great Grandmother was a suffragette in England. Her ancestor lives on in MBT’s Suffragette Garden.
She’s primarily a photo blogger. Her text gives context to the photos, and brief descriptions to make them a little clearer.
I’m not sure when I started following, or why (I’m actually kind of crass in real life, so I’m as surprised as you that I follow a tasteful, well presented photo blog), but I’m glad I did.
MBT just saw the 100th anniversary of a walk her Great Grandmother participated in – a Suffragette walk. She asked if I could lend some space to publicize it a bit, and I was more than happy to agree.
She recently took part in a commemoration of that walk, and took some great pictures!
She isn’t just about that one cause though. She will also spend time updating us on what her grandkids are up to, even as she celebrates what her great grandmother and her peers achieved.
And, as the anniversary of the Great Suffragette Pilgrimage was just a couple of days ago, MBT is inordinately proud! And fortunately, she had her camera with her.

So at some point,take a moment if you’re willing to. Pause and admire, and recognize, and thank incredible women for what they’ve done for the world. And then stop by My Beautiful Things and say hi.
Her connection with history is alive, her grandkids are beautiful, and her pictures are magnificent.
And she’s one of the nicest people I’ve been privileged to hang out with here in the sphere!

Friday Foolishness – Take Two Of These Edition


Today’s Music: Yamit Momo – My Angel Put The Devil In Me

Here we are again, for what aspires to be the inanest way to spend a Friday on the internet! But what do I do the rest of the week? Why, read blogs of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
GingerFightBack put up another great anti-bullying post. Ristinw shared her cool pic of a life size aquarium. And McCrabass gave us some strongly worded thoughts about reality TV.
Finally, kmushbeauty nominated me for a Shine On Award! She has a great site, and I hope you all get a chance to check it out!

Thanks everyone, for another great week of reading here in the sphere.
SupermanBatman
And let’s not forgot that during the week, y’all answered the poll! Last week we (who the hell is this “we”?!?) asked you to channel your inner superhero and tell us(???) what is your kryptonite. Here’s what you said. As always, my comments are clad in italics. And spandex.)

Procrastination and poor planning. Curse my self-imposed weaknesses! –Brian
(Eh, curse it tomorrow.)
Someone who works for the gubment with a positive IQ-I would die of shock. Red.
(The smart ones don’t admit it…)
Leaving my bed. — Lily In Canada
(That makes me very curious as to what your superpower is!)
the mirror. It has no manners. butimbeautiful.
(I like to place another mirror directly across from it to confuse it into submission.)
Baptized Christian babies;overcooked. –Rachael B
(An ounce of sauce coverss a multitude of…sins…)
Algebra. Seriously. Any algebra makes me melt into a puddle of quivering flesh
(Woah! We were asking for kryptonite, not turn ons!)
Boobies!!! – Revis
(On behalf of men everywhere, Yes.)
My wife's glances – Hotspur
(Yeah! How are we supposed to have any fun when they’re always watchi- Oh…that’s sweet…)
Negativity….we're still breathing and that's a positive. (polysyllabicprofundities)
(Until you look at the air quality reports…)
A pony bearing Jameson whiskey gifts and clove cigarettes!
(But to be fair, that only happens once or twice a month.)
Good chocolate. (Addie)
(Is there any other kind?!?)
El Gaupo
(I’m so tempted to make this the winner.)
Getting into the costume. (SilkPurseProductions)
(Naked Superheroing is all the rage in Metropolis.)
blog awards. thematticuskingdom.wordpress.com
(Wait- we can get awards for these???)
people walking slowly in crosswalks. thematticuskingdom.wordpress.com
(If the targets are slow, the point values go waaaay down…)
I'm a superhero everyday…pshhhh… or it might be the meds- Bipolarmuse
(I’ll have what she’s having!)
A severe lack of coffee in the morning. Kayjai
(I’ll reply to this as soon as I wake up…)
existentialism on Fridays (Stacy)
(Fortunately, you’re safe here. As are the thoughts of man drifting through the tumultuous swirl of tHE COSMOS INT– Crap, sorry!)
A man in his undies running on a hamster wheel…HA! zannyro
(My god, I think you just described my life.)
the cherry on top, it's always the cherry that kills anything good! Marie Nicole
(Yeah, but if it were on the bottom, you’d never see if coming.)
egg salad and mayonnaise – it makes me FUNICULAR! Rutabaga
(Pork chops and applesauce. And I’ll take the bus.)
A naked Tiki bar … Thanks Rachael. (Frank)
(One man’s kryptonite is another man’s home away from home…)
Yellow Lederhosen! SnaapALong G.
(Can a secret desire be kryptonite?)
A wedgie. I hate those tights. Elyse 54.5
(I thought thongs were supposed to do that…)
Freeze dried icecream as served on the shuttle – Kanerva
(But think what we can get from the Martians for $4 of that!)
country western Music (SnB)
(Wait – which kind – Country or western?)

This week, no winner, just to keep you on your toes! And from the offered choices, the most popular was Kryptonite, jackass. Sheesh.. So congratulations to all you way-too-literal folks out there.

Medical technology has come so far...

Medical technology has come so far…


This week, the roving poll eye turns its attention to healthcare. Because I’m spending way too much time visiting health facilities.
But it isn’t to trash the state of medicine in the US, it’s to marvel at the technology. Yes, hospital beds! They can do all sorts of amazing things. But what else should they be able to do? Well, that’s this weeks poll.
Answer often, answer in good health. but answer by 2359 EST, on Wed 26 June,because that’s when this one closes.
And if you leave an “Other” answer, leave a way to identify you,and I’ll link back next week.

And as we slide off into the weekend, I’ll leave you with these.
First, keeping with the medical theme…

And finally, oh, what the hell. Lily Tomlin!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Gravity


Today’s Music: Cherry Poppin’ Daddies – Skaboy JFK

I have a love/hate relationship with gravity. From an astromechanical point of view, I love being in its pull, zooming earthward, only to pull up/bounceback/splash through at the end.
The feeling of wind whipping past your head at terminal velocity while your brains try and pick which ear to crawl out of is one of those experiences that make life worth living.

Sure, physics will make this much clearer!

Sure, physics will make this much clearer!


Then there’s interpersonal gravity. The only person who’s gravity well I’ve fallen into is my wife’s (The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe. That means that I keep myself attuned to where she is, what her mood is, and whether she needs a hug or caress or joke from me. (To be fair, she’s also pretty good at knowing when I need one of those, or when I need to give her one.

There’s also the gravity of situations. I spent last Friday working at our data center until about 2130 diagnosing a server failure. Turns out it was a bad memory chip.
But it needed to be found, and the server’s disposition needed to be definitively diagnosed – would we be able to get it up by market open Monday? Did we have spare memory for it? Was Guap going to accidentally power down a whole rack of servers? Again?
(The answers were Yes, Sort of, No, NO!)

Three very different uses of the word gravity, all sort of tied together by different facets of the same definition.
Some bad, but some pretty damn good.

That’s my post for today.
Can you see what I’m getting at?

Yes! I am painfully bored!

Oh, and if anyone has anything I can jump off of, I’m open to suggestions (he said with gravitas).

Friday Foolishness – Achilles Heel Edition


Today’s Music: Don Omar – Danza Kuduro
Note on Today’s Music: This was played over the closing scene of Fast And Furious Five, which was a much better movie than it had any right to be. And it’s a fun bouncy song. enjoy!

I’ve gone on ad nauseum about what I’ve been up to this week. but what else was there? Why, blogs, of course! Here’s some of what I read.
Ross Murray addressed the United Nations. Hasty Words wrote a beautiful poem to someone she didn’t really know. And Thoughtsy is getting married! (when she thinks he’s earned it).

Sincere thanks all around for a great week of reads!
Map2
And other things were read too. And written, even! Specifically, answers to last week’s poll, asking where I’d gone. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are lost in italics.)

3rd star to the right, and on till morning. thematticuskingdom
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
to his other job. The one with a code number. butimbeautiful
(1000111010011010001100001. Get it? HAHAHAHA!!!!)
To band camp. At least someone remembers. Red.
(Alas, it wasn’t just one time. And it wasn’t only at band camp…)
To the future! Where you saw results of your cross-Atlantic jet ski ride! Maddie
(And discovered that I apparently get seasick.)
(A lot.)

To infinity… and beyond! ~ RunningOnSober
(I only made it to a googlyplex. Then I ran out of gas.)
searching for that pony he so desperately wants (polysyllabicprofundities)
(My therapist would like to meet you to compare notes.)
Naked Tiki Bar ~Rachael B.
(One of those first two words is redundant. Not sure which…)
Boobies!!! Revis
(I thought those were less a place, more of a frame of mind…)
to play a hashtag game on Twitter, but had a mental breakdown instead-Twindaddy
(Isn’t a mental breakdown a prerequisite for twitter?)
where no man has gone before… he could have lit a match a, tho. (UndercoverL)
(Live long. And phosphor.)
(redo) Helping the gov’t decide my secret blogging identity. (UndercoverL)
(Oh, we’ve been watching you for a while. Get your finger out of your nose.)
You’ve been riding some cool waves, haven’t ya? The Bumble Files
(It was the sines and cosines that did me in.)
jet skiing around Istanbul on a trial run. Grippy
(I tried to go around Constantinople, but I guess my map was out of date…)
The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe. sandylikeabeach
(I got to meet the meat. He was tasty.)
To infinity and beyond! (Jen and Tonic)
(If Woody had gone straight to the police…)
To the moon Alice, to the moon! Benzeknees
(Better than going to the sewers!)
Probably on a FUNICULAR! Do I have to even put Rutabaga?
(Yes, you must put Rutabaga on a Funicular.)
to the asylum for shock therapy (SnB)
(I’m holding out til the knobs go to eleven!)
Nowhere – he was still here! (Stacy)
(That’s pretty existential for a Friday morning…)
To Belgium, where he secretely drank beer and ate waffles in a corner. NBI
(Much more private than eating waffles in the round.)
and chocolate, obvs. Like Armageddon was coming. NBI
(I don’t think I want to say what I’d do with chocolate if Armageddon was coming.)
(Mmmm….)

Philadelphia (Addie)
(It was a little frightening to hear the Rocky theme on the up escalator.)
Running on a giant hamster wheel in his “undies” zannyro
(Nono, that’s my day job.)
Someplace too scary for me … Elyse 54.5
(How did you know I was at the DMV?)
Somewhere fun with his girl (Frank)
(As a rare serious answer, everywhere with my girl is fun. Or at least better. (HI HONEY!!!))
He didn’t ‘go’ anywhere…he used his powers of invisibility. KJ
(Alas, that power only works when I’m around women…)

Congratulations to DJ Matticus for this weeks winning answer, and a great whimsical quote! And from the offered choices, the most popular was He wishes he knew… Ain’t it the truth…
Superman
Soon, Man of Steel (yet another superhero movie) is opening. So it got me wondering…What would bring down Superhero You? And that’s what this week’s poll is.
Answer soon, answer often (and answer honestly in case someone is trying to plot against you), but answer by 2359 EST on Wednesday 19 June, because that’s when this one ends.

And until next we meet, enjoy these…
First, thanks to Linda Vernon for reminding of Phyllis Diller

And finally, because I needed something to fill this space, Jerry Seinfield.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wave Hello. Now Wave Goodbye. Now Wave Hello Again


Today’s Music: John Mellencamp – Just Another Day

So around this time last year, my mother was getting ready for a heart procedure that would end, ultimately, in her passing.
It was a difficult stretch of time, as readers that were here at the time might recall. I put up a few posts about her condition, and a few about mine at the time.
Before that, my father-in-law went through open heart surgery. It took him a while to get through that, and then through rehab, and finally back on his feet.
During both incidents, I and my wife (The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe) visited both parents constantly. In the months this was going on, we missed maybe 12 days. (7 of those were spent in Portland, a trip which my family said we should take since it had been booked before hand. And we needed the break.)

When December 31 2012 rolled around, I couldn’t have been happier to see the rear end of that year.

So here we are in 2013. TMWGITU and I go just about daily to visit my father-in-law in rehab, this time due to a clot that lodged in his leg, cutting off all circulation to his lower leg for a few hours.
The hospital responded well, and within hours of his admittance, they were performing surgery and successfully cleared the clot.
One of the side effects of the procedure is an incision that was made in his leg to drain any swelling. That incision cut muscle which is what needs to be rehabbed.

So as I said, our summer so far is once again trips to visit in rehab. And cleaning. but that’s a different rant.
(We have to clean his apartment so that he’ll be able to navigate with a cane/walker/whatever.)

It’s funny how everything old is new again…

So, another week goes, another week comes. This part of the story will have a happy ending soon enough.

But if this keeps up, I’m just going to disconnect the phone and have them hold my mail next summer.

I'll have nine please.

I’ll have nine please.

Beatnik Poetry Slam – Travelin’ Man


Today’s Music: Sandra Boynton – Cows

hipster-cow
*El Guapo, resplendent in an ironic Hawaiian shirt strides to the mic*
“Beats and Birds, Dudes and Dames, Tonight I’d like to introduce the famous Ray Kroc, providing musical accompaniment on the cowbell.”
*The man on the back of the stage looks surprised. He rushes up to El Guapo, and (covering the mic), they have a brief but heated conversation. Ray drops back offstage and begins pulling something. El Guapo hangs his head and shakes it before returing to the mic.*
“Apparently there was a miscommunication.” *He glares at Ray who is now smiling, positioned alongside a Holstein.* “He’ll be playing the…cow.”

*The spotlight focuses on El Guapo*

The traveling man
Goes places others only dream.
*moo*
Some bring laughter,
Others make him scream.

But when he comes back
*moOOo*
(for he’ll always return)
One question
Continues to burn

He asks once *moo* more,
That Travelin’ Man
“Does anyo*MOOOOO*ne know…

Where I am?”

*moo*

Dig it.