A Literary Limerick – Order Of The Phoenix


Today’s Music: Dave Edmunds – Crawling FromThe Wreckage

It’s time for the latest installment in the “DEAR GOD WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US????” limerick interpretation of Harry Potter.
At this point in our story, Harry is whiny, Ron is sullen, and Hermione is…well, Hermione.
Ah, but Cedric is dead and Voldemort is alive.
What can possibly happen next?!?

So join as we…rework…this beloved classic. Into Limerick form!
And if you want to see the rest (because you’re a masochist), just click Limerick above the banner.

The Order Of The Phoenix
Book Five

The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.

Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?

No, these probably won’t get any better as they go on. But on the bright side, only three limericks left!

Let the hate mail begin!

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66 responses to “A Literary Limerick – Order Of The Phoenix

  1. Wonderful. Really. Wonderful. Who could hate on you, Guap?

    Like

    • Let’s see…Harry Potter fans, JK Rowling, limerick fans, literary types, those that show up to the bar 2 hours after me hoping there will be tequila or cold beer left, anyone who’s ever ridden an elevator with me after I’ve had Mexican for lunch…
      It’s actually quite a list, Kayjai!

      Like

      • I’m a Potter head and I rather enjoy your limericks. As for the rest on the list, they obviously are lacking some sort of gene that enables them to appreciate a man who enjoys life. Too bad for them, I say.

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        • thank you kayjai – I think that’s like the third “nicest comment ever!” you’ve given me!

          (I’m also a Potter head, having seen all the flicks and read the books three or four times. And yes, I had a user account on HPANA.com)

          Like

  2. I think I need to read those books or, at the very least, watch the movies!

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    • I am so glad I am not the only person on the planet who hasn’t read those books or watched those movies. Maybe some day, but at least now I know I’m in good company with Ms. Snaap (which I always want to spell with one ‘a’ and two p’s).

      Like

    • Go for the movies Ginger. Everyone gets upset when you get popcorn butter on the pages of a book.

      Like

  3. …tell me what your day job is…again?
    El G, you are just to clever NOT to get paid for this. Contribution in the post.

    Like

  4. overs….Overs….OVERS…
    …tell me what your day job is…again?
    El G, you are just too clever NOT to get paid for this.
    Contribution in the post.

    Like

  5. *love* this. Order was my fave book of the whole series.

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  6. Oh dear, Cedric is dead?… I have some reading to do 😉

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  7. I’m actually happy to read your limericks. Saves me all the time and trouble of reading the books or watching the movies. I’ve already started my boys on LOTR and Star Wars, both of which are way more enjoyable… to my husband and I anyway!

    Do you take special requests? Perhaps some Star Wars haiku since you’re almost done…

    Like

    • I’m like the Cliff Notes of literary mockery, L&L!
      And you’re request is appreciated and currently being developed.
      What? There were novelizations of the movies.
      And yes. I owned them as a child.

      Like

  8. OK… so I hate to admit it… but I’ve never even picked up any of the Harry Potter books… or watched the movies for that matter. But I must say, your limerick makes me want to do just that!! I think I’ll add the first one to my summer reading list. Thanks 🙂

    Like

    • Don’t hate it, Wendy. Admit it with pride. You’re like one of the seven people that never saw Titanic. An honorable position.
      (Still wish I hadn’t caved in and seen that movie.)

      Though I did really enjoy the Harry Potter series. Let me know what you think of the book!

      Like

  9. And here I am undone (like Wendy Wanders above) by my complete ignorance of Harry Potter. And also, liked Wendy, I enjoyed your limerick quite a bit. Where Wendy and I diverge is in our intent to actually read the books.

    Like

  10. I much prefer to read your HP limericks than the actual books!

    Like

  11. I should have read all of the comments before I declared that GingerSnaap and I were the only members of the never read or saw Harry club. Our numbers are growing!

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    • I think I just attract the non-HP-readers, sandylikeabeach.
      There’s just enough limerick to be able to sparkle wittily at cocktail parties without having to actually read the books!

      Like

  12. Hi,
    Actually I thought your limerick was very good. 🙂
    I also liked the music you chose today as well.

    Like

  13. I never read the books. I think I saw 3 of the films. That was about all I could handle. When Harry started getting past that pre-pubescent look, I was done. Hahaha!
    Like, The Waiting, I think I like the limerick more than all 3 movies combined.

    Like

  14. I’m all for limericks.

    Like

  15. Generally I’m not a limerick kinda girl, but combining that form with Harry Potter? C’mon, what’s not to love? Maybe it isn’t the best stuff you’ve written, but you get an “A” for ingenious pairing of genres!! Amy (There once was a girl from Wisconsin… and then something about Johnson?!)

    Like

    • Thank you for the A, but pleeaasssee don;t grade the three upcoming entries.Seriously, I wrote them,and still think they’re horrific.

      There once was a girl from Wisconsin.
      Some called her Amy, some named her Ms. Johnson.
      She loved all sorts of verse,
      from eloquent to terse

      but limericks just left her wan-some!

      See what I mean? It’s like a disease…

      Like

  16. I saw all the movies but never read the books! Everyone tells me that I’m missing out. I’m going to equate your poems to the books.

    Like

  17. I find this fascinating….why my whole interpretation of Harry Potter has been changed…..when you put it the way you do…well….it just SINGS!

    Like

  18. Hate mail? Are you kidding? I’ll read this over J.K. any day. I got through the first four, after which I’ll have to take your word on how it all played out.

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  19. No hate mail here … just praise for the music and limerick king.

    Do you recall me saying that I have a book of just limericks? Here it is …. http://tinyurl.com/6ptqnan

    Like

  20. El Guapo nobody does the limerick about the Potter boy quite like you do. Quite wonderful I must say! I definitely want a limerick day where we can look forward to these!! 😀

    Like

  21. I clicked on Limerick above the banner because I need more limericks the way “Don’t Fear the Reaper” needed more cowbell. ❤

    Like

  22. Why o why did I read the entire book when I could have read this? 🙂
    (Actually I quite liked the books, but this is just hilarious!!)

    Like

  23. Thanks Guap. So glad I don’t have to re-read the book before starting on Book 6!

    Like

    • Glad you liked it, Elyse! If you can hold off reading a bit longer, the last three are on the way soon…
      (They’re already written, I just usually save them for when I have nothing to post)

      Like

  24. whiteladyinthehood

    No one could hate you Guapo – you are too awesome!

    Like

  25. geez, this makes me want to read Harry Potter! I think I read the first book at some point… nonetheless, love the Limmie. Now, to catch up on other posts…

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  26. I am a complete Harry Potter fiend – and I love this! Thank goodness J.K. Rowling did not resort to this instead of the novels, though!

    Like

  27. No, it’s great – if only the book was that short!!

    Like

  28. Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back!

    Like

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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