Today’s Music: Dave Edmunds – Crawling FromThe Wreckage
It’s time for the latest installment in the “DEAR GOD WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US????” limerick interpretation of Harry Potter.
At this point in our story, Harry is whiny, Ron is sullen, and Hermione is…well, Hermione.
Ah, but Cedric is dead and Voldemort is alive.
What can possibly happen next?!?
So join as we…rework…this beloved classic. Into Limerick form!
And if you want to see the rest (because you’re a masochist), just click Limerick above the banner.
The Order Of The Phoenix
Book Five
The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.
Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?
No, these probably won’t get any better as they go on. But on the bright side, only three limericks left!
Let the hate mail begin!
Guapola 
Wonderful. Really. Wonderful. Who could hate on you, Guap?
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Let’s see…Harry Potter fans, JK Rowling, limerick fans, literary types, those that show up to the bar 2 hours after me hoping there will be tequila or cold beer left, anyone who’s ever ridden an elevator with me after I’ve had Mexican for lunch…
It’s actually quite a list, Kayjai!
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I’m a Potter head and I rather enjoy your limericks. As for the rest on the list, they obviously are lacking some sort of gene that enables them to appreciate a man who enjoys life. Too bad for them, I say.
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thank you kayjai – I think that’s like the third “nicest comment ever!” you’ve given me!
(I’m also a Potter head, having seen all the flicks and read the books three or four times. And yes, I had a user account on HPANA.com)
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I think I need to read those books or, at the very least, watch the movies!
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I am so glad I am not the only person on the planet who hasn’t read those books or watched those movies. Maybe some day, but at least now I know I’m in good company with Ms. Snaap (which I always want to spell with one ‘a’ and two p’s).
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Go for the movies Ginger. Everyone gets upset when you get popcorn butter on the pages of a book.
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…tell me what your day job is…again?
El G, you are just to clever NOT to get paid for this. Contribution in the post.
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overs….Overs….OVERS…
…tell me what your day job is…again?
El G, you are just too clever NOT to get paid for this.
Contribution in the post.
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Took me a second to find the typo, Jots! Thank you!!!
Sadly, I’m just a techie hack with a bent sense of humor.
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*love* this. Order was my fave book of the whole series.
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Thanks, Lyssapants.
And sincere apologies for trashing a beloved book. 😉
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No worries. It’s like any time spent talking about HP (negative or positive) is time well spent!
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Oh dear, Cedric is dead?… I have some reading to do 😉
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He went from alive to dead to undead in record time, Kanerva.
Oh, and sparkly too. Very very sparkly.
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Should I shade my eyes?!
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Or look away. Unless you like twilight.
In which case, I don’t think I can help. 😉
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Twilight = Vampires. Bleugh.
Solution: I’ll wait for your next limerick instead!
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I’m actually happy to read your limericks. Saves me all the time and trouble of reading the books or watching the movies. I’ve already started my boys on LOTR and Star Wars, both of which are way more enjoyable… to my husband and I anyway!
Do you take special requests? Perhaps some Star Wars haiku since you’re almost done…
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I’m like the Cliff Notes of literary mockery, L&L!
And you’re request is appreciated and currently being developed.
What? There were novelizations of the movies.
And yes. I owned them as a child.
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OK… so I hate to admit it… but I’ve never even picked up any of the Harry Potter books… or watched the movies for that matter. But I must say, your limerick makes me want to do just that!! I think I’ll add the first one to my summer reading list. Thanks 🙂
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Don’t hate it, Wendy. Admit it with pride. You’re like one of the seven people that never saw Titanic. An honorable position.
(Still wish I hadn’t caved in and seen that movie.)
Though I did really enjoy the Harry Potter series. Let me know what you think of the book!
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And here I am undone (like Wendy Wanders above) by my complete ignorance of Harry Potter. And also, liked Wendy, I enjoyed your limerick quite a bit. Where Wendy and I diverge is in our intent to actually read the books.
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Not undone at all, Smak. There are those who, reading the limericks, would say I’ve never read them either.
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I much prefer to read your HP limericks than the actual books!
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Why thank you, Waiting. Sadly, the limericks lack the weapon-ready heft of the books…
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I should have read all of the comments before I declared that GingerSnaap and I were the only members of the never read or saw Harry club. Our numbers are growing!
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I think I just attract the non-HP-readers, sandylikeabeach.
There’s just enough limerick to be able to sparkle wittily at cocktail parties without having to actually read the books!
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Hi,
Actually I thought your limerick was very good. 🙂
I also liked the music you chose today as well.
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Thanks Magsx2!
Because of the story in this one, that song just jumped into my head.
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I never read the books. I think I saw 3 of the films. That was about all I could handle. When Harry started getting past that pre-pubescent look, I was done. Hahaha!
Like, The Waiting, I think I like the limerick more than all 3 movies combined.
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Thank you. Lisa! And you still have 3 more to look forward to!
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I’m all for limericks.
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They make a pill for that Savor. At least, that’s what the guy on the corner I buy mine from says…
😉
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maybe you can introduce me to your guy on the corner.
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I would, but he got himself a high ranking government job.
They sent a black & white to escort him and everything!
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hmmm. Well I have an old friend from school who helps me out with these sorts of issues. perhaps I can introduce you to my guy – not on the corner though. In fact he lives in a rather nice house – but same thing. I’ll have to ask him what he has for limericks.
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See if he has any tequila. or Hemingway.
That’ll cure any one of verse issues.
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Generally I’m not a limerick kinda girl, but combining that form with Harry Potter? C’mon, what’s not to love? Maybe it isn’t the best stuff you’ve written, but you get an “A” for ingenious pairing of genres!! Amy (There once was a girl from Wisconsin… and then something about Johnson?!)
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Thank you for the A, but pleeaasssee don;t grade the three upcoming entries.Seriously, I wrote them,and still think they’re horrific.
There once was a girl from Wisconsin.
Some called her Amy, some named her Ms. Johnson.
She loved all sorts of verse,
from eloquent to terse
but limericks just left her wan-some!
See what I mean? It’s like a disease…
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I saw all the movies but never read the books! Everyone tells me that I’m missing out. I’m going to equate your poems to the books.
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Mine are better, Lily – they can be read so much faster!
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I find this fascinating….why my whole interpretation of Harry Potter has been changed…..when you put it the way you do…well….it just SINGS!
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Thank you, zannyro. More like Sings for a value of singing that equals nails being sloooowly dragged across a chalkboard…
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Hate mail? Are you kidding? I’ll read this over J.K. any day. I got through the first four, after which I’ll have to take your word on how it all played out.
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I’m so tempted to just start making stuff up, Cayman.
Oh wait, I already am…
hehehe
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No hate mail here … just praise for the music and limerick king.
Do you recall me saying that I have a book of just limericks? Here it is …. http://tinyurl.com/6ptqnan
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That’s a lot of limericks, Frank!
Have you read the whole book?
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Oh no … much it is a good reference … everyone should have double-digit example of the girl from Nantuckett.
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El Guapo nobody does the limerick about the Potter boy quite like you do. Quite wonderful I must say! I definitely want a limerick day where we can look forward to these!! 😀
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Thank you Linda! but I prefer random limerick entries – the better to spring them on an unsuspecting public.
Mwahaha
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I clicked on Limerick above the banner because I need more limericks the way “Don’t Fear the Reaper” needed more cowbell. ❤
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Thank you, Stacy. And I think you’ve drawn an apt but disturbing analogy there…
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Why o why did I read the entire book when I could have read this? 🙂
(Actually I quite liked the books, but this is just hilarious!!)
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Thanks, NBI! I loved the books too, and have no idea why I decided to do this to them.
But it is fun!
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Thanks Guap. So glad I don’t have to re-read the book before starting on Book 6!
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Glad you liked it, Elyse! If you can hold off reading a bit longer, the last three are on the way soon…
(They’re already written, I just usually save them for when I have nothing to post)
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No one could hate you Guapo – you are too awesome!
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Why thank you, whitelady! I’ll have to give my PR dept a bonus this year.
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geez, this makes me want to read Harry Potter! I think I read the first book at some point… nonetheless, love the Limmie. Now, to catch up on other posts…
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Thanks Laura! but soon there will be a full set posted, so you won’t need to read them after all!
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I am a complete Harry Potter fiend – and I love this! Thank goodness J.K. Rowling did not resort to this instead of the novels, though!
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Amen, whatimeant2say. If she had, this would be downright plagiarism!
and Thanks!
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No, it’s great – if only the book was that short!!
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Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back!
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Glad to have you, Russel Ray. Don;t worry about leaving a mess.
I don’t. 😉
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