A Literary Limerick – Goblet Of Fire


Today’s Music: the Cranberries – Loud And Clear

Welcome to yet another round of Guap has nothing good to write and is taking it out on you the finest in poetic literary synopsii, where we reduce a quality text to inane drivel.

Today, we turn our eye to the next book in the Harry Potter series, Goblet Of Fire.
If you haven’t seen the rest (or blotted them out of your mind to escape the trauma), I invite you to click Limerick above the banner and experience the horror experience anew!

Goblet of Fire is the heartwarming tale of a boy who struggles through life’s travails in search of the perfect treacle tart. Truly, this book has it all. As well as, after this limerick, the extra credibility of a hack knocking the stuffing out of it.

*One note before reading – I have absolutely no idea what the syllabic requirements of limericks are. And I’m too damn lazy to look it up. But I’m pretty sure this one is even further off than usual. And you’ll have to read in 1/16th notes at the end to keep the meter.
It’s a limerick folks. You’ve been warned.

The Goblet Of Fire

For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…

If anyone needs the website of a reputable mental health professional, let me know.
And you’re welcome!

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72 responses to “A Literary Limerick – Goblet Of Fire

  1. jk.. it was actually better than the last one (s) and I got a feel for the whole story with this one. Happy Potter in Limerick…yea.. almost as good as not having to sit through the whole movie after drinking a 32 oz soda. Just saying. But keep them coming. I am behind ya 100% on these efforts.

    Did you say something about mental health? reputable… professional… or .. nevermind. I’ll bounce right back 🙂

    You Rock!

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  2. Hilarious! But I’d sooner believe in the existence of Harry Potter than in a concept like “reputable mental health professional!” 🙄

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  3. I like it EG. It is better to write something weird than nothing at all right? 😉

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  4. whiteladyinthehood

    Yay! I’m getting your posts again! Whew! Rock on with the limericks – Guapo!

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  5. Love it! Nicely done…I think you have a special talent for Potter Poetry.

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  6. Spooky. It’s a Cranberries day here too – I’ve been listening to ‘If I Were a Carpenter’ on endless shuffle all day. Cool 90’s meets daggy 70’s…

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  7. Did you know that the Cranberries hail from Limerick? Strange…..

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  8. It is hard to find a word that rhymes properly with Diggory. I’m just sad he went to the sparkly side.

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  9. great post, and no almost naked men either. Thanks for that

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  10. I stopped at treacle tart. I had it confused with haggus and now that I know the difference, it’s not nearly as intriguing. Ok, I’ll keep reading now…

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    • I believe the treacle tart is prepared in the lining of a bear’s stomach, Laura. Can’t see how you’d confuse the two. 😉

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      • No, that’s Feta cheese and it’s fermented in the stomach of a virgin deer. I keep getting my organs, connective tissue, and mucus membranes confused but I suppose one fashioned into a tart is bound to be as tasty as the next. I should read those Harry Potter books. Or maybe no.

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  11. Pretty damn good. I got confused around the 3rd Harry Potter movie, but I trust that your Limeric was spot-on the story line. Nice work!

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  12. I dunno, Sightsnbytes, I kinda wouldn’t mind that last thing. 🙂 (Laughed at the first sentence of this post out loud, btw!)

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    • Sadly Asplenia, when I use those pics, I always get yelled at a lot.
      there are a bunch in he previous post. I warn you – some of them are really really not good.

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  13. I liked the limerick, although having never read (or seen) Harry Potter, I lack the proper reference.

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  14. Harry who?? I must agree with Smaktakula.

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    • Impressive. Now if you told me you’d never seen harry or titanic, I’d be even more impressed, Sandy!

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      • While I’ve never seen Harry, sadly I did see Titanic, but only once as that was enough. My mother, has seen neither. When I asked her if she wanted to see Titanic, she replied “No, I already know how it ends.”,

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  15. Folly & the Wrong Men

    I didn’t read the book so maybe I’m missing the joke – but aren’t limericks supposed to be naughty?

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    • They traditionally are, Folly, but it’s not a requirement.
      However, I myself believe that by its very nature, limericks are obscene, so the language used is just a detail. 😉

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  16. Oh goody a limerick! My day is complete now, and it’s barely even started. 🙂

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  17. I stopped reading the HP series after, I think, the second one. They were good, but I just don’t have as much time to read as I used to and there is other stuff I want to read more, like your blog!

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  18. You speak of Harry Potter AND mental health professionals in the same post. Sold.

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  19. Hi,
    Well I think you done a good job on this one as well, and you got me with the “sparkly Diggory”, poor Cedric. 😀

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  20. Harry Potter was a scary venture for me. Reading those stories aloud to my young ‘uns was cumbersome, to say the least. I had a few four lettered limericks of my own for JK after that tour of duty.
    As for the reputable mental health professionals? Hmmm, I think my book is chock full. But I’ll be in touch, just in case.

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  21. Now I don’t have to see any of the movies. You have ruined my life.

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  22. free penny press

    EG.. now my day is complete.. Harry and a Limerick , sweet 🙂

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  23. It’s limericky enough for me.

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  24. I can honestly say I have not read any Harry Potter books AND never seen any of the movies … bummer – I was expecting Harry and the girl from Nantucket.

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  25. Forget Cliff and his Notes. Limericks are where it’s at !

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  26. Wait…………..are you hinting at the fact that Harry isn’t REAL???
    OOOOOOOOOOO,,and what a FABULOUS limerick………
    You may just have given me the courage to mangle the English language and take a stab at it myself. You should be ashamed of yourself for encouraging me…if won’t be pretty.

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    • I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your company at my impending trial for literary crimes against good taste, zannyro.
      I understand Stephanie Meyer will be our co-defendant…

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      • wahahahahhahah…oh excuse me, that was rude.
        I’m very excited…there’s nothing like the anticipation
        of a long drawn out trial to get a girl up and out of the house and looking for just the right outfit.

        The roar of the crowd, flashbulbs going off, the cute little guy in the hat yelling,” popcorn, peanuts, get-yer red-hots right here” the judge in his flowing black gown and powdered wig. Oh, sorry, I was having a flash-back. I will sit by the mail-box awaiting my invitation to court, or if not that, a cute little car with blue and red flashing lights atop it.
        OH! I think I hear sirens, my ride’s here!

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  27. Take it from a Harry Potter fanatic, that was a darn good limerick!

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  28. You have been nominated for the Reader Appreciation Award. http://benzeknees.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/intermission/

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  29. Ummm….you may not see this as I know Friday Foolishness is on it’s way down the pipe, but wanted to share. I’ve been scoping the blogs and notice you always have a positive comment on ALL of them. That’s awesome. Your positivity (?) is much appreciated. It’s like a beam of light and makes me smile whenever you visit. Thanks for reading, commenting and spreading the joy! xo KJ

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  30. I have never read a single Harry Potter book, and now I feel like I should have simply to relate to this post.

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    • They are good books, but that’s a lot of work, J&T.
      Might be easier to skip the books, and just let the limerick fade like a bad memory… 😉

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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