Today’s Music: the Cranberries – Loud And Clear
Welcome to yet another round of Guap has nothing good to write and is taking it out on you the finest in poetic literary synopsii, where we reduce a quality text to inane drivel.
Today, we turn our eye to the next book in the Harry Potter series, Goblet Of Fire.
If you haven’t seen the rest (or blotted them out of your mind to escape the trauma), I invite you to click Limerick above the banner and experience the horror experience anew!
Goblet of Fire is the heartwarming tale of a boy who struggles through life’s travails in search of the perfect treacle tart. Truly, this book has it all. As well as, after this limerick, the extra credibility of a hack knocking the stuffing out of it.
*One note before reading – I have absolutely no idea what the syllabic requirements of limericks are. And I’m too damn lazy to look it up. But I’m pretty sure this one is even further off than usual. And you’ll have to read in 1/16th notes at the end to keep the meter.
It’s a limerick folks. You’ve been warned.
The Goblet Of Fire
For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…
If anyone needs the website of a reputable mental health professional, let me know.
And you’re welcome!
Guapola 
um…
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jk.. it was actually better than the last one (s) and I got a feel for the whole story with this one. Happy Potter in Limerick…yea.. almost as good as not having to sit through the whole movie after drinking a 32 oz soda. Just saying. But keep them coming. I am behind ya 100% on these efforts.
Did you say something about mental health? reputable… professional… or .. nevermind. I’ll bounce right back 🙂
You Rock!
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Thanks LizzieC! Only a few more of the HP limericks to get through!
And if you could manage to suck down a 32 oz soda while reading this, that would be…impressive!
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well be impressed 🙂 did and done…doin the pee pee dance.. scuse me!
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After a 32 oz, I would guess it’s more like a pee pee mosh then a pee pee waltz…
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exactly.. ! kinda a cha cha feel to it too.
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Hilarious! But I’d sooner believe in the existence of Harry Potter than in a concept like “reputable mental health professional!” 🙄
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But they say they are reputable on their webpages, Izaak. There are no lies on the internet!
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I like it EG. It is better to write something weird than nothing at all right? 😉
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Weird is a matter of perspective, Hobs.
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True…
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Yay! I’m getting your posts again! Whew! Rock on with the limericks – Guapo!
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You realize that encouraging these is only gonna make me write more of em, right whitelady? 😉
And glad to be out of your spam folder!
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Love it! Nicely done…I think you have a special talent for Potter Poetry.
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Oh. Joy.
Please make sure they note that in my obit, kayjai! (when I die from the shame) 😀
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Spooky. It’s a Cranberries day here too – I’ve been listening to ‘If I Were a Carpenter’ on endless shuffle all day. Cool 90’s meets daggy 70’s…
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It was hardy to find a happy-ish song from them, Kanerva.,
I’m going to see them tonight, so I’m listening to them all day.
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Jealous with a capital J. enjoy 🙂
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Did you know that the Cranberries hail from Limerick? Strange…..
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I did not know that, GfB. But I’ll work it into the conversation if I get to talk to them tonight!
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It is hard to find a word that rhymes properly with Diggory. I’m just sad he went to the sparkly side.
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Agreed, Howlin Mad. He should have had the decency to stay dead.
Jiggery? piggery?
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great post, and no almost naked men either. Thanks for that
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I first read that as “almost no naked men” and had to recheck the post, SnB.
Your wwelcome and glad you liked it!
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I stopped at treacle tart. I had it confused with haggus and now that I know the difference, it’s not nearly as intriguing. Ok, I’ll keep reading now…
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I believe the treacle tart is prepared in the lining of a bear’s stomach, Laura. Can’t see how you’d confuse the two. 😉
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No, that’s Feta cheese and it’s fermented in the stomach of a virgin deer. I keep getting my organs, connective tissue, and mucus membranes confused but I suppose one fashioned into a tart is bound to be as tasty as the next. I should read those Harry Potter books. Or maybe no.
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Got it. Don’t know why I thought it was the “virgin stomach” of a deer. Not sure how it becomes otherwise, but still… 😉
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Pretty damn good. I got confused around the 3rd Harry Potter movie, but I trust that your Limeric was spot-on the story line. Nice work!
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You will now be able to sparkle even more wittily at cocktail parties wehn Harry Potter comes up, Lily!
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I dunno, Sightsnbytes, I kinda wouldn’t mind that last thing. 🙂 (Laughed at the first sentence of this post out loud, btw!)
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Sadly Asplenia, when I use those pics, I always get yelled at a lot.
there are a bunch in he previous post. I warn you – some of them are really really not good.
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I liked the limerick, although having never read (or seen) Harry Potter, I lack the proper reference.
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Once the series is done, you will have all the tools you need to mock them even more, Smak!
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Harry who?? I must agree with Smaktakula.
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Impressive. Now if you told me you’d never seen harry or titanic, I’d be even more impressed, Sandy!
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While I’ve never seen Harry, sadly I did see Titanic, but only once as that was enough. My mother, has seen neither. When I asked her if she wanted to see Titanic, she replied “No, I already know how it ends.”,
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I didn’t read the book so maybe I’m missing the joke – but aren’t limericks supposed to be naughty?
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They traditionally are, Folly, but it’s not a requirement.
However, I myself believe that by its very nature, limericks are obscene, so the language used is just a detail. 😉
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Oh goody a limerick! My day is complete now, and it’s barely even started. 🙂
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Well, you’re very very welcome Liz!
And I’m very very worried about you! 😀
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I stopped reading the HP series after, I think, the second one. They were good, but I just don’t have as much time to read as I used to and there is other stuff I want to read more, like your blog!
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A high compliment, Dan!
And through the magic of synchronicity, now you’ve read both!
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You speak of Harry Potter AND mental health professionals in the same post. Sold.
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I think it’s a Yin/Yang kind of thing, Lyssapants…
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Potato, po-tah-to. (frick, how do you spell those phonetically?)
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Hi,
Well I think you done a good job on this one as well, and you got me with the “sparkly Diggory”, poor Cedric. 😀
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Thanks, Magsx2. It was too good to leave out even if it does cross phenomena!
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Harry Potter was a scary venture for me. Reading those stories aloud to my young ‘uns was cumbersome, to say the least. I had a few four lettered limericks of my own for JK after that tour of duty.
As for the reputable mental health professionals? Hmmm, I think my book is chock full. But I’ll be in touch, just in case.
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There’s always help here at the asylum, Cayman.
Who better to understand peoples problems than the inmates themselves? 😉
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Now I don’t have to see any of the movies. You have ruined my life.
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Well, yes John, but in the best possible way!
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EG.. now my day is complete.. Harry and a Limerick , sweet 🙂
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Thanks, fpp! That’s the highest praise a limerick could possibly ask for!
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It’s limericky enough for me.
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See, and here I was thinking it was too limericky, beautiful!
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I can honestly say I have not read any Harry Potter books AND never seen any of the movies … bummer – I was expecting Harry and the girl from Nantucket.
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Umm…you realize the first few are generally considered kids books, right Frank?
That said, I like where your heads’s at!
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Forget Cliff and his Notes. Limericks are where it’s at !
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I think Cliff closed shop and moved to Nantucket, Brain…
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I guess the rumors WERE true.
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Wait…………..are you hinting at the fact that Harry isn’t REAL???
OOOOOOOOOOO,,and what a FABULOUS limerick………
You may just have given me the courage to mangle the English language and take a stab at it myself. You should be ashamed of yourself for encouraging me…if won’t be pretty.
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I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your company at my impending trial for literary crimes against good taste, zannyro.
I understand Stephanie Meyer will be our co-defendant…
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wahahahahhahah…oh excuse me, that was rude.
I’m very excited…there’s nothing like the anticipation
of a long drawn out trial to get a girl up and out of the house and looking for just the right outfit.
The roar of the crowd, flashbulbs going off, the cute little guy in the hat yelling,” popcorn, peanuts, get-yer red-hots right here” the judge in his flowing black gown and powdered wig. Oh, sorry, I was having a flash-back. I will sit by the mail-box awaiting my invitation to court, or if not that, a cute little car with blue and red flashing lights atop it.
OH! I think I hear sirens, my ride’s here!
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Take it from a Harry Potter fanatic, that was a darn good limerick!
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Thanks, whatimeant2say.
I only hope your forbearance continues for the next four entries in this!
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You have been nominated for the Reader Appreciation Award. http://benzeknees.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/intermission/
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As a reader of this comment I am greatly appreciative.
Thank you so much, benzeknees!!!
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Ummm….you may not see this as I know Friday Foolishness is on it’s way down the pipe, but wanted to share. I’ve been scoping the blogs and notice you always have a positive comment on ALL of them. That’s awesome. Your positivity (?) is much appreciated. It’s like a beam of light and makes me smile whenever you visit. Thanks for reading, commenting and spreading the joy! xo KJ
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I believe you now have the 2 best comments ever here, Kayjai!
And I was blushing on the train when I read this, so thanks for that too!
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I have never read a single Harry Potter book, and now I feel like I should have simply to relate to this post.
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They are good books, but that’s a lot of work, J&T.
Might be easier to skip the books, and just let the limerick fade like a bad memory… 😉
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