A Literary Limerick – The Harry Potter Saga

Posted on August 1, 2012 | 65 Comments

Today’s Music: Nina Simone – I Put A Spell On You

As promised (threatened?) here is the Harry Potter Limerick Omnibus! (Sounds so much more dignified than it really is…)
None of the limericks have been edited, except for the titles to make them more consistent.
Enjoy!

Book One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

A young boy with a scar on his head
His parents, both sadly were dead
When he reached age eleven,
thought he’d been admitted to heaven
But had to fight the “2 headed” teacher instead.

Book Two: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help -
At his own shadow he yelped.
But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.

Book Three: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he might be delirious
There were a wolf and a mouse
In a very haunted house
but the hero, in the end, was Sirius

Book Four: Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire

For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…

Book Five: Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix

The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.
Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?


Book Six: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Sirius had gone through the veil.
In Dark Arts, Snape threatened Harry with “Fail”
But Harry did more
Hangin’ with Dumbledore.
If only he’d built the balcony a rail


Book Seven: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part One

Find the Horcruxii was what Harry must do.
Set off with friends to defeat You Know Who…
But just like the flick -
though it might make you sick -
this limerick will be split into two.


Book Seven: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part Two

Poor Dobby, he laid down his life.
And Ron pissed off his soon-to-be wife
but Harry stood tall,
one (ring) Wand to rule them all

The epilogue: Harry, with happiness, was rife.

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65 Responses to A Literary Limerick – The Harry Potter Saga

  1. aFrankAngle | August 1, 2012 at 09:03 | Reply

    There once was a man named El Guapo,
    Whose prose where much more than some guano.
    About Harry he wrote
    And without missing a note,
    He sings each of these with bravado.

  2. clownonfire | August 1, 2012 at 09:07 | Reply

    Guapa,
    You’re still with the Harry Potty-thingy… Aren’t you afraid of J. K. Rowling?
    Le Clown

  3. A Gripping Life | August 1, 2012 at 09:46 | Reply

    Oh joy! I was hoping I’d get a chance to re-read limericks 1-7 (7 having two parts). This really gives “hump day” new meaning — I’m just sayin’, I think this put me over the hump.

  4. Madame Weebles | August 1, 2012 at 10:39 | Reply

    You know, I enjoyed each limerick on its own, but having the whole Harry Potter saga up on one page like this. It really speaks to me.

  5. bulldogsturf | August 1, 2012 at 11:05 | Reply

    I see you tend to give Suzanne a bit of a hard time as do I, now she’s accusing me of teaming up with you so I felt I better follow you and see what you get up to…

  7. starlaschat | August 1, 2012 at 11:28 | Reply

    Bravo! I wish I could throw a limerick back but I am limerick challenged. I like the line “At his own shadow he yelped.” I hate to admit this, but I think I’ve yelped at my own shadow before. :+)

  8. RC | August 1, 2012 at 12:11 | Reply

    10 likes so far…that’s not so bad :) I’m sure by the end of the day it will reach 100 ;)

  9. Red | August 1, 2012 at 12:20 | Reply

    Love it! I only suck more at limericks than I do with haiku. This rocks!
    Red.

  10. Smaktakula | August 1, 2012 at 12:34 | Reply

    Although I’ve never seen a Harry Potter movie or read one of the books (reading is for people who are literate, anyway), but because Rowling’s books have so perniciously infiltrated the popular culture, I was able to appreciate most of what you did. For whatever reason, I’m tickled by the “beated” basilisk.

  11. asplenia | August 1, 2012 at 12:46 | Reply

    My first comment didn’t go through so reposting. You’re so creative! I hope JKR sees this post. :)

  12. Linda Vernon | August 1, 2012 at 15:11 | Reply

    These are masterpieces! My favorite thing about these is that if you miss one Harry Potter Limerick there’s plenty more on the next Omnibus! Well Done!

  13. Mitzie Mee | August 2, 2012 at 09:41 | Reply

    They’re wonderful!

  14. zannyro | August 2, 2012 at 09:43 | Reply

    My “sorting hat” is off to you, oh Master of the Limerick…I doth suspect that Shakespeare is rolling around a bit in his grave..( I know he didn’t write limericks)…

  15. Alex Autin | August 2, 2012 at 11:11 | Reply

    Thank you Guapo, now I don’t have to read the books! Very clever of you. :) And really? Did Frank actually rhyme Guapo with guano? Ballsy!

  16. kayjai | August 2, 2012 at 12:43 | Reply

    Oh, dear. I fear I’m rather late. Loved them all…I’m hangin’ on for Friday.

  17. Howlin' Mad Heather | August 2, 2012 at 13:13 | Reply

    It’s hard to find appropriate words that rhyme with “Snape,” I think. (He just doesn’t look like a grape sort of guy.)

  18. Kanerva | August 2, 2012 at 16:05 | Reply

    You have competition! Frank’s offering was very good :) . Good reading one after another in one stream.

  19. whatimeant2say | August 2, 2012 at 18:18 | Reply

    Thank you, thank you! And the Nina Simone song makes it all perfect!

  20. jell jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown | August 2, 2012 at 23:11 | Reply

    STOP. It’s so good. I can’t handle it.

  21. Pingback: A Job, A Regatta and An Anniversary « Kayjai's Blog

  22. Elyse | August 5, 2012 at 11:53 | Reply

    Guap, it took me way to long to get here, but this is a fabulous collection of the best of the best of Harry Potter. I loved the books and you really did sparkle in writing these, way more than Cedric.

  23. beckyday6 | August 5, 2012 at 14:21 | Reply

    HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xD (Okay recovering, sorry.) These are so amazing! Did you come up with them yourself?! If so, you have a true talent, they really are excellent.

  24. H.E. ELLIS | August 28, 2012 at 09:43 | Reply

    Reblogged this on H.E. ELLIS and commented:
    Here is a blog from aperitif from my good friend ElGuapo to cleans your palette between bites of my literary distastefulness.

  25. H.E. ELLIS | August 28, 2012 at 09:44 | Reply

    I love “Ron pissed off his soon-to-be-wife.” Classic. :)

  26. rebecca2000 | August 28, 2012 at 10:45 | Reply

    Friggin outstanding! I am impressed :)

    x,
    Becca

    Lady or Not…Here I Come

  28. Red | December 5, 2012 at 22:46 | Reply

    Just in case my pingback machine is still broken, you left, ahem, something at my place…or someone did.
    http://j.mp/Vl8OuM

  29. Pingback: Friendly Foolishness Fricassee « Kayjai's Blog

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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